Someone I cared a great deal about passed away yesterday.
And he was 100% good people.
Tuesday, February 24th, 2014, my little man Caesar unexpectedly passed away.
I came home from work, noticed that he was having trouble breathing and rushed him to the vet.
They took x-rays and the experience scared him so badly that they had to put him on oxygen to keep him breathing.
I rushed him across town to an emergency vet hospital and four hours after arriving home from work, what I thought was a normal day, my little man was gone.
That was one of the worse days of my life.
Tuesday, February 24th, 2015, my guardian who cared for me during my high school and college years will be laid to rest.
She was a wonderful and giving woman, and she was strong, both physically and mentally.
She had a garden that she loved so much, flowers and vegetables galore.
And when I say garden, I really mean a small farm out back that she took care of all by herself, by choice.
She was 50 years older than me, and even back in high school, she could out last me physically and stamina wise.
I remember thinking ~ I want to be like her when I get older ~ full of life, strong, capable with an ‘I do it myself and not going to have it any other way’ mentality.
She lived in her own home with her niece until about a year or so ago, and then she moved in with her daughter.
She outlived her brother and sister by many years, both of which lived on the same street as her, they were two of her three neighbors.
She was a very resilient woman.
I was there for her when her husband passed away. She had cared for him many years after he had a stroke, so when he passed away it was very life changing for her.
And she was there for me when my step-mother passed away, a very life changing event for me too.
I think that is when we bonded most, because both deaths happened around the same time.
She lived to be 94, which is pretty awesome in my book.
I am very sad that she is gone, and I am very disappointed that I didn’t make it down one last time to see her.
Over the last couple of years I have had a couple of challenging changes going on in my life as well, and the opportunity to see her again unknowingly slipped by.
She gave me one of the best compliments ever, her gift to me.
She told my grandmother, and both she and my mom remind me of it often, especially when I need a lift.
She said ~ If someone cannot get along with Lisa, well then, there is something wrong with them.
I have only been to a few funerals. I can count them on half of one hand.
It is going to be very hard to see this strong woman lying there lifeless, and me not being able to talk with her one last time.
Tuesday, February 24th, 2015 is going to be an emotional day.
I hope Tuesday, February 24th, 2016 will bring a different kind of life affirming gift.
Please don’t take today or tomorrow for granted.
I know I won’t.
Reminiscing on what I have experienced.
And looking forward to trying some new things that I’d still like to do!
I am better able to let go of the past when I can meet my fears head on and sincerely apologize for my half of the equation, thus relinquishing any attached shame that I have been carrying around about it.
I’d say in the last twenty years there have three defining moments that God Bless America I wish I had been better equipped to handle emotionally when they were going down.
As of yesterday, I was finally able to communicate my apologies for how I handled a breakup that happened close to twenty years ago, thus owning the third of my three defining moments.
There is great freedom, when time has passed, in owning and apologizing for any past wrong doings on your part.
We all do things that we regret once we are removed from the situation.
We all can count the ways in which we could have said and done things differently.
However, the past is the past.
But the present, the present is a time in which we can all say, I’m sorry, or whatever it is that you need to say.
Honestly saying goodbye and thank you to the past opens the way for a better future.
I might have found a work place that I can call home.
I love working for a small firm and being in close working relationships with the owners.
Me, I thrive in a family-ish like setting, even with the squabbles, versus a big corporate scene.
You know you have arrived when you can borrow the boss’s car.
It was Tuesday and I had been chauffeured into work by one of my bosses (who’s car I would never ask to borrow because he’s not a sharer) due to the weather, and I was going on my second day without my morning mocha frap.
So I thought, what the hell, and asked my other boss, Um, may I borrow your car to go to Starbucks?
Sure, grab me a cup of coffee too.
Now, the whole time I was driving his Lexus, I was praying like all get out, Dear God, pleeeease don’t let anything happen to his car just because I wanted a mocha frap!!!
Plus, driving his car was like a tank compared to driving my car. Very disorienting.
But as I was driving safely back, I recalled all of the really nice cars that I got to drive while working for another small firm, who I was with for about ten years total.
I didn’t even have to ask to borrow their cars, I just did a lot of errands and will you help me out with this, that and the other for them.
They are still my favorite bosses by far, because they really put the F in work family.
Anyway, driving back, I had the thought, even in the middle of a busy tax season, that maybe just maybe this is where I can be and grow for many years to come.
Of course my boss asked me yesterday if I would swing by his house and pick up his dog and bring him back into work with me when I ran out for an errand.
Sorry. I had to draw the line. Big basset hound in my itty bitty S2000 is a little too close for comfort for this cat lady.
But I did offer to buy him a cup of coffee while I was out!!!
So, I got to talk to my sis last week.
She was at the pool with her three kids.
One was swimming, one was getting ready to start a swimming lesson and one was trying his best to slip me inside information.
My nephew is 2 ½ and unfortunate for me, I am not well versed in 2 ½ year old talk.
Throw a phone into the mix and I am all like, Huh??
Don’t get me wrong, he can talk like a champ.
I am just old and can’t hear well.
So he was just a talking and I heard something about they got me something.
Hold the presses!
Hey Bubba, what did you get me?
He obviously gave it away because I clearly heard my sister in the background, Dude, don’t tell her what we got her!!
Insert visual here……
I am pretty sure this is what he looked like, caught between me and his mom thinking…..hmm, what am I supposed to do?
So I threw him a life-preserver….Dude, I love you.
I love you too.
That I heard loud and clear.
I miss you.
He was done with me and had passed off the phone. I think it was just too much pressure for him.
I never did find out what they got me, and I haven’t received anything yet, so maybe he was lying.
Do 2 ½ year olds lie?
But he did get me off my duff.
I had bought my sister a can of magic beans that I needed to send to her.
Insert visual here…..
When we were young, I once ate a whole can and then promptly threw up said whole can….all over her brand new shoes.
My grandmother was a witness and reminds me of it often.
Probably because she’s the one who had to clean it up!
Anyway, my sister and I are the only ones who enjoy them so I sent her a can by mail as a surprise I am thinking of you and I miss you.
Why are they magic?
Because it costs me $10 to mail a $1 can of beans.
She got them, appreciated the gift AND she and my 2 ½ year old nephew ate the whole can yesterday.
FINALLY. One of her kids really is family!
I haven’t been in contact with her today yet, so I am hoping little man didn’t throw them up!
On a serious note, if you ever want to surprise someone….send them something in the mail.
We don’t really get surprises in the mail anymore, so when they come, they are so much cooler!
Just a thought.
Oh, and all the cool people eat boiled peanuts.
You might want to try some!
I was at the grocery store recently and an older gentleman came over and asked if the jar he was holding was olive oil.
To which I said, Um. Yes.
He replied graciously, Thank you so much. I don’t have my glasses with me.
His glasses were seated right there on his upper forehead.
I kept a straight face and didn’t say anything. But maybe I should have come to think of it, if he was operating a motor vehicle and all.
I hope he made it home safely.
Not only did he get my attention, everybody and their brother were looking over in his direction as if to say, Hey, you talking to me?
Horn still blaring nonstop, and when I say blaring I mean hard-core not letting up loudest horn you have ever heard, he began to back up.
So I chalked it up to he just wanted to make sure people knew he was backing up so they wouldn’t hit him.
I glanced over and noticed that his wife looked extremely mortified.
Because I do believe his horn was malfunctioning.
Because it continued to blare as he drove forward, and out of the parking lot, and down the hill, and through the light onto the main road…..and yes, I could still hear him a mile away.
Funniest thing ever!
Of course that is because it wasn’t happening to me.
But I did have my own senior moment this week.
This totally sucks since I am still in my forties, and very early forties at that I have you know.
Every Monday my boss comes down to look over the sports section of the paper and asks me, did you catch the game(s) this weekend?
Remember when I said that I am not very good at lying?
Well I lied.
This past Monday I got tired of telling the truth so I said, You know it! I am all over it!
To which he replied, No you didn’t!
He was half hopefully there for a minute, but I caved and once again shared that sports were not my forte by design.
We got to talking, and he told me blah, blah, blah.
And then I exclaimed rather proud of myself, Hey, is that the team with the Refrigerator?!
I stumped him.
Yeah, you know, they all sing and dance and I remember there was this one dude they call The Refrigerator, The Fridge.
Courtesy of Wikipedia: “The Super Bowl Shuffle” is a rap song performed by players of the Chicago Bears football team during 1985. It was released 3 months prior to their win in Super Bowl XX, peaking at No. 41 in February, 1986 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.
I am sorry, did you catch that…1985!!!
I am going to talk smack and the only thing I can come up with is a random fact from 1985?!
He was like, I am pretty sure what you are thinking of happened at least twenty years ago.
I said, In that case, you have absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to your company and me handling the money and paying the bills since my brain can recall things from as far back as 1985. I’ve SO got this!
1985. Twenty nine years ago. Wow.
Although I have twenty-nine to forty-two and a half years of knowledge stored in this little brain of mine, I still couldn’t remember the name of the song until it came to mind out of the blue as I was leaving for the day….The Super Bowl Shuffle!
Check it out ~ Chicago Bears Super Bowl Shuffle Rap Song
Of course, the snap shot I hold in my brain looks so much cooler!!
So I am going to go back to what I know best, because senior moments are for the birds…..
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