Tag Archives: Life

RIP Sandy. I Am Only Sorry That You Will Not Be Buried Next To Our Grandmother

And your wife of 37 years and 9 months, only due to her passing before you.

Today is my grandfather’s funeral.  Actually, technically, he is my step-grandfather.

His funeral is today at 11am.

It is about a four and a half to five-hour drive from my home, one way, depending on traffic…and I am not there, nor will I be.

After much texting and phone calls late yesterday and last night with my family, that was my final decision.

I am not going.

This is my grandfather’s obituary (I deleted any specific telling details) –

Blank, 89, of blank passed away Monday, April 17, 2017 at blank Hospital. He was the husband of the late Gloria blank.

Mr. blank was born in Boston, Mass., on April 10, 1928, was the son of the late blank and blank. He was a member of blank Presbyterian Church, a veteran of the Royal Canadian Air Force, and a former helicopter pilot for the Ontario Hydro Co.

He is survived by a granddaughter, blank of Cambridge, Ontario, Canada; a brother, blank of Fort Erie, Ontario, Canada; three great-grandchildren, Jason, Alex, and Madison blank; a son-in-law, blank of Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada. He was preceded in death by a daughter, blank.

A graveside service will be conducted at 11 a.m. Wednesday, May 3, 2017 at the Blank Family Cemetery, on blank Rd., in blank by the Rev. Blank.

Hm.

Outside of his brother who is 80, my grandfather knew the rest of these other people for about five years. Tops.

My grandmother and Sandy were married in January of 1979.

So.  What about his other four grandchildren, and what about their children?

I am the oldest.

That means Sandy has been in my life for 38 years, and 36 years for my sister, and our cousins…..I am not sure how much younger they are than us, but they had to have  known him for at least 28-30 years,   If not more.

And our cousins and Aunt & Uncle were much closer to our grandparents in the later years.  They spent many annual holidays with them at their home.

My dad, my uncle and my aunt…they have known Sandy for those 38 years too, on an adult level.

Sandy passed away on Monday, April 17th.

My sister and I did not find out about it until Friday, April 21st.

At first I had great peace.

He was no longer alone, outside of a caretaker coming in a few times a week, because he (and my grandmother) had lived out in the middle of nowhere for decades.

None of us could easily just pop in to check on them or say hi.

And because the only listed granddaughter in his obituary, who he has only known for 5 years, who also happens to now be his sole heir aka the one calling the shots about his final resting place and the date and time of his funeral….. My sister and I did not know the final details regarding his funeral until Monday, May 1st in the evening.

Um, his funeral is on May 3rd (today) at 11am out in the middle of nowhere which equals pretty significant driving time to get there, let alone including the time to drive home and trying to take time off from work on the spur of the moment.

The thing that I am most upset about is the decision to bury him “at the Blank Family Cemetery.”

Please.

There is a small family cemetery on the estate BUT he will be the very first of HIS family to be buried there.

That is a nice way of saying we are not going to fly your step-grandfather’s remains, who we have only known for five years, down to Texas to be buried beside your grandmother (wife of 37 years and nine months) even though there is a paid plot waiting for him next to her.

Some of his last words, as I have been told, heard by several people at different time were to bury him in the estate’s cemetery…to save money for his granddaughter to inherit.

For me this has nothing to do with money, at least not for myself.

Sure, I sincerely hoped my dad and my uncle would receive an inheritance alongside Sandy’s only blood related granddaughter because Sandy and grandmother built a life together for 37+ years and it should be shared with all the heirs.

But for me, this is more a matter of honor and respect.

Even though I personally want to be cremated and released in the wind (preferably in a really cool and awe-inspiring place!), I believe that once a person dies, their spirit is free.

But if you have been married 37+ years, and burial is your method of choice, if possible the two should be buried together.

Our side of the family, as of late as yesterday, was willing to try to raise the money to send Sandy’s remains to TX to be with my grandmother, even though none of us have that money to spend, we would have done so to honor and respect the sacred bond of a lifelong marriage.

But c’est la vie, such is life in French.

Thirty minutes from now my grandfather will be buried miles and miles, and states and states away from my grandmother.

I won’t be there.

I sent the largest and most expensive red rose arrangement I have ever sent to anyone…..and I will honor him from my home.

My eyes are practically swollen shut from crying so much in the last 24 hours, hence me not going into work today even though I chose not to go to the funeral.

My face looks like I have gone ten rounds and have been beaten three times over by the world’s greatest boxing champ at present.

I really don’t want to have to explain this to anyone.

I will admit I am a little irritated with Sandy right about now.

But no matter where he is buried, or whatever happens…

I truly hope he is at peace, that he is with my grandmother and that he knows how much her side of the family, aka us, loves him.

RIP Sandy.

I love you.

 

 

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Victory!  Three Weeks Later.

It has been a looooooong three weeks working on getting my car repaired at no cost to me.

Last post I shared that the oil pan in my S2000 had been damaged because someone used an aftermarket oil plug while performing an oil change on my car.

By doing this, it stripped the original threading and resulted in my car leaking oil.

I have never had an oil leak, and the car is 15 years old, so this really freaked me out.  I don’t like when something it not right with my car.

But when I found out that this problem was due to someone else’s negligence, someone who didn’t have the courage to let me know what had happened, I guess hoping I’d never find out, um, I got pissed.

You mess with my family, my cats or my cars and you are very much going to wish you did not do that.

I don’t go ballistic much, but in those three areas, I will rip you a new one and become your worst nightmare.

To make a long story short, I sent the garage a courier package with a letter that said in essence, you have got to be out of your mind if you think I am going to spend $650 to repair a mistake your garage made.

Well, I really did say that part among other stuff.

I also sent pictures of my home and work parking spaces featuring the oil leak in all of its glory, a repair estimate my normal mechanic (who has been working on my cars since 2000) prepared, along with copies of the receipts of the work they performed and a copy of my attempt to reach them sooner via email that bounced back.

I advised them to fix this, or refund me the cost of the oil change and the $650 needed to repair the damage, or they would be hearing from my lawyer.

Crickets.

Enter said lawyer.

I cannot share the letter he wrote and had FedEx’ed to them because I do not have his permission, but let’s just say, I sure as hell would step up to the plate if I had received that letter.

His letter also stated that all contact of any type going forward should run through him.

Crickets.

On Friday, the lawyer decided to draw up lawsuit paperwork to send over.  I think the paperwork was due to be sent out on Monday.

Friday evening I received a voicemail.  The garage owner asked that I bring my car in on Saturday so we could review and resolve the situation.

They put my car up, we went through the whole drill again about what was wrong and we were getting nowhere.

Then all of my pent-up anger about this whole unfair situation that has plagued me for three very long weeks tricked out and the f-bombs came flying out of my mouth.

I was hopping mad, like I said; one of the three things you do not want to mess with when it comes to me is my cars.

Three hours later, yes I spent three hours at the garage today supervising any and all work done on my car; asking question as they explained every step of the way what they were doing, we resolved (hopefully) the issue…at no cost to me.

They installed a larger oil plug that required creating new threads, which is very tricky and time-consuming.

And, I did eventually sincerely apologize for being rude and mean with my language explaining that my car means a lot to me and it is not fair that costly damage could be done without my knowledge or consent.

Kinda funny, the owner asked me – Do you work on cars?

I was quite knowledgeable and in the mix the whole time.

I said no, but whenever I take my car in and I am on site, I am in the garage under my car with the mechanic to learn everything I can.

And you know, the people who helped me today, I do not think they are responsible.

But I did notice one person who was missing from the scene.

The mechanic who I am pretty sure preformed the oil change on my car that started all of this.

I get vibes about people, those that helped me today, I truly believe they care about the work they do.

That other dude, hm, something about him rubbed me the wrong way from the start and we didn’t even talk.

To me, he was more disengaged and seemed to be there only for a paycheck and not happily so.

Moral of the story.  Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself.  Do not be afraid to ask for help.

I am pretty sure if I had not asked the lawyer for help, I would have had to pay $650 to repair something that was not my fault.

And the lawyer helped me, did not charge me, helped me because he is good and kind, and he does not like when people try to harm others by not taking responsibility.

I am going to buy him a $50 Starbucks gift card to say thank you.

And if he doesn’t drink coffee…he can re-gift the card and become someone else’s hero.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Go Ahead. Make My Day. Card Me.

Friday I bought a pack of cigarettes.  Not smart, I know.

The clerk was ringing me up.  She was ready to hit the final key that would prompt me to insert my card for payment, when she stopped.

She looked at me funny and said – I have carded you before, right?  You are old enough to buy cigarettes, right?

I assured her, that although my actions weren’t all that smart, I was indeed old enough to purchase cigarettes.

She was relieved and said – Oh good.  I certainly did not want to sell to someone who was underage.

Yesterday I went to the ABC store and bought a bottle of Jose Cuervo tequila.

Again, prior to hitting the final key to prompt me for payment, this clerk also asked – You are old enough to make this purchase, right?

Once again, I assured her that I was more than old enough to make the purchase and she too was thankful that she wasn’t selling to someone who was underage.

I mean, who hit the jackpot?  Um, me.  Within 72 hours I was “carded” twice!

Granted, I obviously am not all that bright based on my purchases, but I must still look young.

Now before you try to rain on my parade by pointing out that there are signs posted stating….

dch_under30decal_full

We Reserve the Right

I’ll take it!

After all, I am pushing 46.  So to be mistaken for a 30ish year old…I am good with that.

I mean like I am really, really, really good with that.

That is all I’ve got.

It is my birthday month so I figure I should really enjoy the gifts each day holds.

Plus, as I told my dad last night – I need to relish this because, um, it cannot go on for very much longer! hahaha

carded

carded2

carded-3


Pondering Again…

Go back to school?

Buy a condo?

Seems to me if one keeps pondering the same things, perhaps one should do something about it.

chance-2

direction


Opening Up to Love in 2017

This is the year I’d like to open myself up to having a relationship.

I mean for real.

I have been single for 10 or 11 years.

Yep.  You heard me right. I am like a born again virgin.

I have had some dates over the years, but I have not been intrigued enough by anyone to want to do anything about it.

There for a while I even had the opportunity of being “Mrs. Robinson.”

I tried it out a couple of times, but it didn’t work for me.  It is not my style, although, it was extremely flattering.

I have become quite comfortable being single.

And it took a while, but now those closest to me are comfortable with me being single too.

I think that shift happened in the last few years.

It is just a given, Lisa is single.

Before my dating hiatus, I had two long-term relationships, back to back, with one year off in-between.

My exes wanted what most people want – marriage, kids, etc.  I didn’t.

There are other reasons the relationships didn’t work out, but the underlying theme was simple – we each wanted different things and envisioned different futures.

Both of my exes are married now, and I believe one has children.

I recently found out that my first ex waited to get married until the fall of 2014.

That brought me comfort.

He took his time, like I have.

He is the one that got away in my world.

I wouldn’t change anything.  Things did not work out for a reason.

But he is the one I have cared for the most in my life.

As for me, I have made a couple of false starts of maybe wanting to date again.

But now I think I am ready, now as in on the other side of tax season.

Last month I was extremely busy with a January 31st deadline.

I remember waking up one morning at 3:30 am thinking about work – I need to do this, I need to do that, this needs to changed and oh, don’t forget that other thing!!

And then I thought – Holy Cow!  I need to get a life!!

And that is when I started thinking about how nice it would be to be in a relationship again.

So on the other side of tax season, I will seriously get out, get involved and meet new people, because I could use more friends too.

soulmatejpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Stupid Internet Safety Day!

I don’t know if you saw it or not, but the other day all the search engines, or at least Google and Internet Explorer, had a link promoting Internet Safety Day.

Of course I clicked the link!

I went through the process, and even though my account had not been compromised, I followed the change password instructions.

What could that hurt right?

Well now I have gone and dorked up my Outlook connection to my Gmail account.

I mean dorked up, cannot fix, have done everything but stand on my head to correct.

I remember when I set up the connection in the beginning.

My sis and bro-in-law had moved across county, and up until that point they had been my technical support team and advisers.

I was pleased as punch when I set it up myself being left to my own devices.

I even called my sister to share the outstanding news.

I don’t remember it being all that hard, so why I cannot figure it out now is beyond me.

I even went the straight up advanced settings route and thought I had it going on, but um, no.  Nothing works!!

I was out sick yesterday, achy and feeling feverish, so all I did was eat and sleep…..and think about this stupid internet connection faux pas I have created.

I woke up this morning, feeling much better thank you, and thought….manual set-up.

That was the first thing that popped into my head.  I was like – that has got to be it!!

And by going the manual set-up route I did make more progress than I previously had, but alas – no go.

I have the sending side set up and working, but the receiving side, not so much!

Oh well.  It will be a weekend project. Grrrrr.

On a positive note, things at work are going much better!

I guess you can’t have it all going on at the same time.

internet_safety_check

womanmad


Thank You 2016

Facebook has this nefty thing.  They created a video showcasing your year for 2016.

I watched mine and was pleased.

You kind of forget all of the things you have done or experienced in a year.

I did the world a favor and did not share mine on Facebook.

After all, no one is as interested in my life as me.

2016 was fairly good for me.

Sad and low points…

I broke my foot and gained 30 extra pounds as a result.  I had my birthday off during tax season BUT only because I was at the freaking foot doctor’s office for a boot and later had to return for a cast.

That was the first time I have ever broken anything and it was quite an eye opener how much such an incident can effect one’s life.

I would prefer not to ever go there again.

My grandmother passed away later in the year.  I still cannot believe that one.  She had always been so strong and tough, and she had also been in my life for all of the 45 years of my life.  I really hate death.

On a positive note(s), um, I finally bought my Harley!

I also got to experience Go Ape Zip Line & Treetop Adventure not once, BUT TWICE, courtesy of the firm I work for.

I had never done zip lining before, and now I can cross it off my Bucket list!  And each visit was a 3 hour physical endeavor and so what I needed.

One thing I am seriously currently struggling with is my commute to and from work.

I live 13 miles from the office, yet I spend up to 2 or 2 and half hours in traffic to and from DAILY.

I also drive a stick shift.

It is painful.  Cramped foots and all.  And I will probably blow the clutches way before their times as a result.

Plus it drains the hell out of you.

This is a very touchy point with me since I wasn’t supposed to be stuck in traffic.

My agreement to come back to the firm I am with was that I could off-set my hours so that I would NOT spend my life in rush hour.

I mean I officially and specifically said – I do not want to spend my life in rush hour.

But such is life, that did not work out as originally planned.

I am not sure what I am going to do about this as of yet.

My sister and very a close friend suggested that I move closer to work.  I actually considered this and looked at some apartments right across the street from my office

Um.  They are crazy expensive.

But you know what?  I would be so unhappy living in Maryland.

I’ve tried it before and it just did not work for me.

In the DC metro area, you are either Team Virginia or Team Maryland.

I am team Virginia through and through.

So I am leaving all of that alone until after tax season.  With a new receptionist I would not leave before she has gone through a tax season and understands as much as possible about the firm.

I love my job, wanted to grow with this firm in particular, but the commute is killing me.

Others in the firm also have long commutes.  But they live far away AND they knowingly signed up for it.

I did not.

NOW.  On to a positive note.  I am super excited about this weekend!

A co-worker and I are going through a weekend motorcycle training course.

Yes.  It will be held during the COLDEST weekend of the year thus far AND it will feel like working full-time over the weekend since the classes will run Friday night 6:45pm to 10pm and Saturday & Sunday from 7:30am to 6 pm…

But still, WE WILL BE RIDING MOTORCYCLES!!!

Although I now own a Harley AND I have a motorcycle license and have had it for YEARS…

I want a refresher course to feel more comfortable with driving my said beautiful Harley out on the open roads with more confidence.

One of my bosses is so eagerly waiting for the day I drive my Harley into work.

Now there is a greater chance it will be sooner rather than later AND now I am going to acquire a partner in crime.

I will have someone to ride with!

And his wife wants in on it too!!  First as a passenger and then as a hell yeah driver!

Side note, she wants to be a driver now, but, good things come to those who wait.

Nonetheless, this my friends will be on the icing on my 2016 cake!

To hell with my horrible commute for now, this weekend I will be in heaven and I will be freezing my @ss off!

Happy Nearing the End of 2016!

 

 

 

 

 


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