Although I love the song Every Breath You Take by The Police, mama is getting ready to call the real police.
I finally solved a mystery that has been puzzling me for some time now.
I was woken up by my cats this morning at 2:30 am.
That is not unusual. That is par for the course.
I normally get to go back to sleep within 15 minutes of petting.
And then I heard it.
The dude upstairs was on the move.
Either he is a really large guy or he is very heavy footed.
On a positive note, I take great care in being oh so quiet when the building is asleep as to not disturb my downstairs neighbors. See. I can take lemons and make lemonade!
Anyway, I hear him on the move, roll my eyes and begin breathing deeply and slowing thinking I can calm my way back to sleep.
After about 15 minutes I hear it.
Unbelievable, the dude either turned on his TV or music because I hear a rhythmic bass or treble or something on a continuous loop!
How effing rude can you be?
This has happened before too, always in the late, late hours of the night or if you prefer, the early earliest of hours in the morning.
He must travel, because it only happens in stints, brief periods of time and not 24/7.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had to stop myself from marching upstairs and banging on his door and giving him a piece of my mind for being so rude and thoughtless.
Well guess what mama figured out as she was breathing deeply and slowing thinking I could calm my way back to sleep?
That is not music or the TV, he is freaking SNORING!
Holy crap! What in the hell am I supposed to do with that?
I was sleeping on my couch because you can do that when you are an adult and single.
Well home boy, and yes he must be a HE with that kind of snoring, must not have been able to sleep and moved to his couch because he is an adult too, and now he is obviously sleeping soundly when I AM NOT.
Every breath he takes makes me want to walk up there and punch him.
I am not in a relationship. I shouldn’t have to deal with this!
And if I was in a relationship with someone who snored, the first snore and it would have been over. I like my sleep.
I know people who are married to snorers. And I think and have said, for the love of God, didn’t you know about this early on and how on earth could you have signed up for this life sentence on purpose? hahaha
Hold up, dude must be awake because the snoring stopped.
Oh never mind. False alarm.
How on earth I can hear him snoring I do not know. I have occasionally been woken up by an iPhone alarm thinking, that is strange, I don’t remember setting my alarm.
I didn’t. It was his alarm.
Outside of these two things in the dead of night or early, early morning, I hear absolutely nothing.
No convos, no showers, no nothing.
Well I do hear him walking, but outside of THOSE three things, I hear nothing.
Now that I know what is going on, I will not call the police.
I am seriously thinking about moving though. hahaha
So I am up. Now what?
I could exercise. I could ride my Harley. I could go grocery shopping.
I could…I really think it would be best if I leave my house for a little while before the police come to pick me up for smothering someone!!! hahaha
Happy Halloween People!
I certainly hope this was my trick for the day.