Category Archives: Change

Epic Fail

I am seriously failing school right now, well at least in my Business course.  I just took Test 1 and I got….64%.  Um.  I am used to an A due to absolutely no social life, aka sucks, but at least I get an A.

I am kinda pissed on several levels right about now.

Maybe disappointed is a better word.

I cancelled my trip to CA to see my sis and family to enjoy Great Wolf Lodge water park/slides and Disneyland with them in order to try to complete the 3 classes I signed up that are needed to complete the Bookkeeping Certificate.

This alone upsets me greatly.  I wanted to hang with them and experience a water park galore.  For real.  A big dream.

Plus.  I really haven’t had a “real” vaca in 10 or so years.

I am a water baby.  I am beyond words energized by water and so wanted to enjoy the lodge.

But nonetheless, here and now, I am between a rock and a hard place.

I don’t want this certificate to take 2 years.  I really don’t.

I have a slight scheduling problem when it comes to school because of tax season, which runs January 1st – April 15th is Spring Session in school.  That eliminates one whole semester for me as there is no way I could do both.

I signed up for 3 summer session classes (which are shorter sessions than Spring and Fall semesters, um, as you can tell, I wasn’t prepared for that).  I am trying to get it done as quickly as possible so I can move on to the next stage…an Accounting Certificate.

That one really may take two years due to tax seasons.

I wanted to at least complete one certificate by the end of 2017.

And I am soooooo pissed that I am spending so much time on this Business Class!

By the way, like I said, it is the class that I am currently failing.

I am spending more time on that than the Accounting Class….the whole freaking reason I am here in the first place!

Anyway, I am a little discouraged tonight.  Tomorrow hopefully will be a  new day.

But for the love of God, I cannot believe I failed my first exam

#MostlyMyFaultButWhoTheHellCanKeepUpWith3OnlineSyllabusesAtOnce!!!!

Do not count me out yet, as I oddly find all of this information I am learning very interesting.

It is just the time frame that I have to pull it all off that is giving me trouble.

Until then, thus far, epic fail…..


Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life… And Maybe The World

Best. Audio. Book. Ever!

Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life… And Maybe The World by Admiral William McRaven, retired Navy Seal Commander, is an amazing book.

Short and sweet.

After I bought it and went to download it, I noticed that is was just over an hour, whereas most of the books I have purchased can run up to 8 hours.

This book is a bestseller, #5 on Amazon, so I was intrigued as to what he could share that was so powerful.

His book has 5 stars from every reader who rated it on Amazon as of just now.  I don’t think I have seen 100% 5 star rating before.

And I must say, he does not disappoint.

I think it is better to listen to the audio book because he reads the book himself.

His voice alone is powerful.

Here are the bullet points that he makes, but you are going to want to hear or read the full story behind each for yourself.

“If you want to change your life or maybe the world remember:

Start each day with a task completed.

Find someone to help you through life.

Respect everyone.

Know that life is not fair and that you will fail often. 

But if you take some risks, step up when times are toughest, face down the bullies, lift up the down trodden, and never EVER give up…

If you do these things, then you can change your life for the better, and maybe the world.”   — Admiral William McRaven

Me.

I got up at 5am this morning.

I made my bed better than I normally do.

I completed the task of riding my motorcycle for an hour.

I am telling you, you are going to want to check out this book.

 

 

 

 

 


School is in Session

Well not really.  Not yet.

My classes start a week from today on Monday, May 22nd.

Yikes!

My boss agreed to let me try working extended hours Monday – Thursday, and taking off Fridays (since our non-tax season hours are 8:30am – noon on Fridays).

Notice the word try.

As in this is not a completely done deal yet.  So, I will work hard to ensure that I stay on top of my duties.

One less day of commuting and one more day to study = would help me tremendously not to burnout on any fronts.

Although my official school classes don’t start until Monday, I’ve been studying audio books like mad for the last year, with a concerted effort for the last six months.

I don’t only listen to the audio books during my commutes to and from work.  I listen in the morning, I listen in the evening, I listen while cleaning, I listen while walking, I listen while sitting out on my porch.  In short – I listen, listen, and listen.

When I am tired of listening or need a break, I turn to music or silence for a while (even days) until I am ready to hear more information.

I’d like to share what I have been listening to over the last year.

Perhaps you will find something of interest.

I started with one book which led me to another, or I would read or hear about a book and I just followed the path.

The first two are my absolute favorites because they are personal life stories, and I am very interested in these people’s lives and how they got to where they are today.

I hope you find something of interest.

 

 

My deepest desires?

To never stop learning.

To never think I know all that I need to know.

And to always keep an open mind and be willing to at least explore.

 

 


I Think I Am Going To Be Sick

Principles of Accounting I

Intro to Computer Applications & Concepts

Intro to Business

I just signed up for the first three of seven classes I need to earn a Bookkeeping Certificate.

And I just paid for it too.

I think I am going to be sick.

 


RIP Sandy. I Am Only Sorry That You Will Not Be Buried Next To Our Grandmother

And your wife of 37 years and 9 months, only due to her passing before you.

Today is my grandfather’s funeral.  Actually, technically, he is my step-grandfather.

His funeral is today at 11am.

It is about a four and a half to five-hour drive from my home, one way, depending on traffic…and I am not there, nor will I be.

After much texting and phone calls late yesterday and last night with my family, that was my final decision.

I am not going.

This is my grandfather’s obituary (I deleted any specific telling details) –

Blank, 89, of blank passed away Monday, April 17, 2017 at blank Hospital. He was the husband of the late Gloria blank.

Mr. blank was born in Boston, Mass., on April 10, 1928, was the son of the late blank and blank. He was a member of blank Presbyterian Church, a veteran of the Royal Canadian Air Force, and a former helicopter pilot for the Ontario Hydro Co.

He is survived by a granddaughter, blank of Cambridge, Ontario, Canada; a brother, blank of Fort Erie, Ontario, Canada; three great-grandchildren, Jason, Alex, and Madison blank; a son-in-law, blank of Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada. He was preceded in death by a daughter, blank.

A graveside service will be conducted at 11 a.m. Wednesday, May 3, 2017 at the Blank Family Cemetery, on blank Rd., in blank by the Rev. Blank.

Hm.

Outside of his brother who is 80, my grandfather knew the rest of these other people for about five years. Tops.

My grandmother and Sandy were married in January of 1979.

So.  What about his other four grandchildren, and what about their children?

I am the oldest.

That means Sandy has been in my life for 38 years, and 36 years for my sister, and our cousins…..I am not sure how much younger they are than us, but they had to have  known him for at least 28-30 years,   If not more.

And our cousins and Aunt & Uncle were much closer to our grandparents in the later years.  They spent many annual holidays with them at their home.

My dad, my uncle and my aunt…they have known Sandy for those 38 years too, on an adult level.

Sandy passed away on Monday, April 17th.

My sister and I did not find out about it until Friday, April 21st.

At first I had great peace.

He was no longer alone, outside of a caretaker coming in a few times a week, because he (and my grandmother) had lived out in the middle of nowhere for decades.

None of us could easily just pop in to check on them or say hi.

And because the only listed granddaughter in his obituary, who he has only known for 5 years, who also happens to now be his sole heir aka the one calling the shots about his final resting place and the date and time of his funeral….. My sister and I did not know the final details regarding his funeral until Monday, May 1st in the evening.

Um, his funeral is on May 3rd (today) at 11am out in the middle of nowhere which equals pretty significant driving time to get there, let alone including the time to drive home and trying to take time off from work on the spur of the moment.

The thing that I am most upset about is the decision to bury him “at the Blank Family Cemetery.”

Please.

There is a small family cemetery on the estate BUT he will be the very first of HIS family to be buried there.

That is a nice way of saying we are not going to fly your step-grandfather’s remains, who we have only known for five years, down to Texas to be buried beside your grandmother (wife of 37 years and nine months) even though there is a paid plot waiting for him next to her.

Some of his last words, as I have been told, heard by several people at different time were to bury him in the estate’s cemetery…to save money for his granddaughter to inherit.

For me this has nothing to do with money, at least not for myself.

Sure, I sincerely hoped my dad and my uncle would receive an inheritance alongside Sandy’s only blood related granddaughter because Sandy and grandmother built a life together for 37+ years and it should be shared with all the heirs.

But for me, this is more a matter of honor and respect.

Even though I personally want to be cremated and released in the wind (preferably in a really cool and awe-inspiring place!), I believe that once a person dies, their spirit is free.

But if you have been married 37+ years, and burial is your method of choice, if possible the two should be buried together.

Our side of the family, as of late as yesterday, was willing to try to raise the money to send Sandy’s remains to TX to be with my grandmother, even though none of us have that money to spend, we would have done so to honor and respect the sacred bond of a lifelong marriage.

But c’est la vie, such is life in French.

Thirty minutes from now my grandfather will be buried miles and miles, and states and states away from my grandmother.

I won’t be there.

I sent the largest and most expensive red rose arrangement I have ever sent to anyone…..and I will honor him from my home.

My eyes are practically swollen shut from crying so much in the last 24 hours, hence me not going into work today even though I chose not to go to the funeral.

My face looks like I have gone ten rounds and have been beaten three times over by the world’s greatest boxing champ at present.

I really don’t want to have to explain this to anyone.

I will admit I am a little irritated with Sandy right about now.

But no matter where he is buried, or whatever happens…

I truly hope he is at peace, that he is with my grandmother and that he knows how much her side of the family, aka us, loves him.

RIP Sandy.

I love you.

 

 

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Pondering Again…

Go back to school?

Buy a condo?

Seems to me if one keeps pondering the same things, perhaps one should do something about it.

chance-2

direction


Opening Up to Love in 2017

This is the year I’d like to open myself up to having a relationship.

I mean for real.

I have been single for 10 or 11 years.

Yep.  You heard me right. I am like a born again virgin.

I have had some dates over the years, but I have not been intrigued enough by anyone to want to do anything about it.

There for a while I even had the opportunity of being “Mrs. Robinson.”

I tried it out a couple of times, but it didn’t work for me.  It is not my style, although, it was extremely flattering.

I have become quite comfortable being single.

And it took a while, but now those closest to me are comfortable with me being single too.

I think that shift happened in the last few years.

It is just a given, Lisa is single.

Before my dating hiatus, I had two long-term relationships, back to back, with one year off in-between.

My exes wanted what most people want – marriage, kids, etc.  I didn’t.

There are other reasons the relationships didn’t work out, but the underlying theme was simple – we each wanted different things and envisioned different futures.

Both of my exes are married now, and I believe one has children.

I recently found out that my first ex waited to get married until the fall of 2014.

That brought me comfort.

He took his time, like I have.

He is the one that got away in my world.

I wouldn’t change anything.  Things did not work out for a reason.

But he is the one I have cared for the most in my life.

As for me, I have made a couple of false starts of maybe wanting to date again.

But now I think I am ready, now as in on the other side of tax season.

Last month I was extremely busy with a January 31st deadline.

I remember waking up one morning at 3:30 am thinking about work – I need to do this, I need to do that, this needs to changed and oh, don’t forget that other thing!!

And then I thought – Holy Cow!  I need to get a life!!

And that is when I started thinking about how nice it would be to be in a relationship again.

So on the other side of tax season, I will seriously get out, get involved and meet new people, because I could use more friends too.

soulmatejpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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