Last Friday I had my physical and a pap done at the same time by the same doctor.
A two for one special if you will that left me feeling pretty darn efficient knocking it all out in one visit!
This is the first time I have met with this doctor and she is awesome.
She was very thorough and spent a long time talking to me because I came armed with a notepad and lots of questions.
I asked her about my alcohol intake.
I used to drink a glass of red wine each night for a long time.
Then in the last couple of years I switched to margaritas.
Probably because my brother-in-law taught me how to make them, and to make them really well, hello new best friend!
I have one a night, maybe two every now and again.
But I also exercise and eat fairly well.
But I also smoke, which we will talk about later.
She asked me – Do you ever have six drinks in that time of drinking?
I said – Hell no! I’d end up dead on the floor.
She said – Then we don’t have a problem.
My question stemmed from not knowing how alcohol dorks up your liver and kidneys in your forties, and I’d like to keep those as good as I can since currently I still smoke.
Which led me to my next question – Do doctors smoke?
I have been dying to ask that question forever!
I mean they are human, right? And some of them, even knowing how harmful it is, have to smoke.
To which she reply – Yes some doctors do smoke, even though they have more information than you would ever want to know about the harmful effects of smoking. Doctors are human and each of us probably do different things that we know aren’t in our best interest.
I knew it!
Next I asked her to check a mole on my back that I have had every doctor since the beginning of time check, and it is still just a plain ole little mole that is doing no harm.
Then I asked her about birth control.
I am not currently on it, but then again I am not having sex, so all is well.
But I would like to be in a relationship and when that relationship rolls around, I’d like to be able to have safe sex – as in I have made it this far and momma doesn’t want no babies!
Unfortunately, again because I smoke, I cannot go on birth control when that relationship does roll around.
When you are in your forties and you smoke, you cannot take birth control due to the risk of having a stroke.
She then shared something that really alarmed me!
She said – Do you know who the most unexpected pregnancies happen too?
Me – No.
Her – Teenagers and women in their forties.
She said – Women in their forties think they are safe and cannot get pregnant.
To which I replied – I have spent so long trying NOT to get pregnant that my brain will still be programmed that way when I am 80!
Now she has put the fear of God in me, more than the fear she reignited about the smoking cuz she spent 10 whole minutes talking to me about that.
The good news is I can go on birth control the minute I stop smoking.
So there is a chance for a win-win here.
But for now, unless my future relationship dude is fixed, I am just saying no because of the fear of this:
And it would totally suck if I made it this far in life and then….well, let’s just not go there! hahaha