I don’t know that I have ever dreamt about alligators before.
But I did last night.
So not cool.
There were two of them, huge mothers, they kinda looked like this….
They were in my place, and I had to maneuver around them to find my cats (Cicero and Caesar who have since passed) to get them to safety.
The whole time thinking, how the hell did two alligators get into my place (my condo that was on the 14th floor in the middle of the city in a prime location that I have since sold)?
And they killed someone I didn’t know, snapped him in half and ate him right in front of me.
The dream continued for a long time, me trying to herd others to safety, everyone in the condo building working frantically to deal with the situation.
In the end, I don’t know how it was dealt with, but I was in my condo again looking at ash piles in the shape of two huge alligators.
In the mix was also a lot of time spent with someone I have wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with, but he’s taken, so it is not an option.
And when I say taken, I mean married, so not only is it not an option, no one on the planet except for one, knows that I was even half way intrigued by this person.
In my dream this guy also had a connection to the one guy I still measure everyone against, and no one has even come close to him, although he did have his flaws too.
So I googled ~ What does it mean to dream about alligators?
Because I do think we work things out in our dreams and our minds use symbols.
I found lots of stuff, but this is the only thing that really resonated with me:
When an alligator or crocodile appears in your dream, you can be sure that they have something important to share; whether it’s facing a personal fear, confronting a difficult situation, or accepting that you are connected to a tremendous source of power.
I got a raise yesterday.
And I gotta tell you, that was the most painful raise to get.
At one point during the day, because they were less than thrilled out of their gourds to finally have the meeting, I wanted to tell them ~ just forget about it.
But I didn’t.
I even cried at lunch (away from the office).
Not a boo hoo poor me mega tears cry, just a few tears from pent up frustration that needed releasing so I didn’t carry emotions into the meeting.
I try to reflect on how far I have come….
In nine months, I came on board with $4k more than I was making (had to factor in commuting at the time), have had two reviews, have had them pick up my full medical insurance, have received a 4% raise and have them considering paying for Quickbooks training next month.
In 3 ½ years (because I was unemployed for a few months between this job and the last), by this year’s end I will have increased my salary by 80% since starting over in a new field in the fall of 2010.
You’d think I would be thrilled.
But I am a bit discouraged, tired and pondering….what am I going to do now?
I can go back to school and pick up with the accounting course work that I started at my last job.
I already have a BA, so I am only about 9 classes away from earning an accounting certificate that would enable me to become an accountant.
It can be done in a year, if you don’t dork around, bite the bullet and dedicate every waking minute of one year to getting it done.
And that’s what I am pondering; do I have that in me?
Is this what I want?
I have two girlfriends, one single and one a mother, who did have that kind of dedication and drive….one, earned her master’s degree and one earned her bachelor’s degree.
I don’t even need a degree, just a certificate.
Plus, working in the accounting field, even on the administrative side, you gotta factor in tax season aka lack of time to do anything but tax season.
And then I have thoughts of, it is possible to become a CPA in five years.
I don’t know that it is possible for me because the CPA exam is extremely difficult to pass.
I don’t know whether or not I even want to go that far.
But the possibility is there, so it gets me thinking.
So, I am so glad it is Wednesday, because I am ready for the weekend!
And I hope I don’t dream about alligators anymore.
I’d like some bunnies, butterflies and bottlenose dolphins please.
Not that I have looked those up, but they have got to be warm, cuddly and fun, right?
Tune for the Post ~ Fix You by Coldplay